Setting Goals, Experience of Expansion: How to Find Joy Along the Way To All of Your Desires
Going After Goals: How to Find Joy Along the Way
We live in a world that loves goals. We set goals for our careers, our health, our money, our families. We’re told that when we achieve these things, we’ll finally feel happy, successful, or complete.
But here’s the truth: reaching a goal doesn’t always feel the way we think it will. Sometimes, it can even feel disappointing. Have you ever worked really hard for something, finally got it, and then thought, “Now what?”
This “let-down” feeling is more common than you might think. And it doesn’t just happen with goals. It can happen after finishing a great book, binge-watching a favorite show, or coming home from a vacation you’ve been looking forward to. The excitement of the journey is gone, and the brain starts asking, “What’s next?”
So, how do we keep joy alive while chasing goals—or after finishing something we love? Let’s talk about it.
Why Goals Can Feel Empty Once We Reach Them
When we’re moving toward something, our brain gives us a boost of dopamine (that feel-good chemical). The planning, the anticipation, the action—it all gives us energy. But once the goal is reached, that rush fades.
Suddenly, the spotlight that was shining on our “big thing” is turned off. Without that focus, it’s easy to feel a little lost, confused, or even sad. This is why people often feel a dip in energy or mood after achieving something they’ve worked toward.
Another reason? Many people set goals without truly asking themselves why they want them. If the reason is rooted in outside approval—what parents want, what society says success looks like, what friends expect—then reaching the goal doesn’t satisfy us. It may check a box, but it doesn’t fill our hearts.
Step One: Notice How You Feel
The first step in moving through this “post-goal blues” is awareness. It’s okay to say, “I feel a little low right now.”
Think of it like visiting a sad friend. You wouldn’t tell them to “get over it.” You’d sit with them, listen, and let them know they’re not alone. You can do the same for yourself. Say:
“I see you.”
“I know you’re feeling this way, and that’s okay.”
“Nothing is wrong with me for feeling this.”
When we witness ourselves with kindness, we start to feel relief.
Step Two: Practice Acceptance
Many people make things harder by judging themselves. They say, “I just accomplished something great. I should be happy! What’s wrong with me?”
But there’s nothing wrong with you. This is simply how our minds and bodies work. Understanding that this feeling is normal can be freeing. It’s not a failure—it’s part of being human.
Acceptance sounds like:
“It’s okay to feel this way.”
“Lots of people feel this after achieving something.”
“This feeling won’t last forever.”
“This feeling is in the now, but it will fade”
When you soften into acceptance, you remove the extra layer of shame or pressure.
Step Three: Be Gentle and Curious
Once you’ve noticed and accepted your feelings, you can start to gently move forward. The key here is curiosity. Ask yourself:
“What little joys can I notice today?”
“What small things spark my interest right now?”
“Is there a friend, activity, or hobby I’ve missed while focusing on my goal?”
You don’t have to leap into a brand-new big goal right away. Sometimes, it’s better to give yourself time to enjoy the present moment. Reconnect with small daily joys—your morning coffee, time with family, listening to music, a walk outside.
The Big Misunderstanding About Goals
Here’s where so many people get stuck: they believe happiness comes after the goal. On top of that, they sometimes pair a time limit with the goal, which adds extra stress and worry when things deviate from the envisioned result.
We say things like:
“Once I lose the weight, then I’ll feel good.”
“Once I get that job, then I’ll be confident.”
“Once I buy the house, then I’ll be relaxed.”
But achievement never changes the fact that the only moment we have is right now. If you don’t practice joy on the way, the goal won’t magically deliver lasting joy when you arrive.
Instead of thinking, “I can’t be happy until…” try practicing, “I’m allowed to be happy now, even as I move toward something bigger.”
How to Set Goals the Right Way
The best way to avoid the emptiness trap is to set goals from a place of inspiration, not pressure. Before you chase something, ask:
Why do I want this?
Is this for me—or for someone else’s approval?
Can I enjoy the process of getting there, not just the end result?
How can I have fun along the way?
How can I release pressure along the way?
Does setting a time limit on this goal make me feel better or worse? What if there is no time limit? Does that free me up to have more fun?
When your “why” comes from your true desires and values, the journey itself feels good. You’re no longer chasing happiness—you’re creating it along the way.
The Heart of It All
At the end of the day, humans set goals because we want to feel better. But the secret is this: you don’t need to achieve a goal to feel good. You can feel joy, calm, love, and satisfaction simply because you exist.
Goals are wonderful—they give us direction and focus. But they are not the only doorway to happiness. When we allow ourselves to experience happiness in the now, the pressure to achieve softens. The journey becomes lighter, and the outcome becomes a bonus rather than the only prize.
Final Thought
Don’t sacrifice a joyful present for the idea of a happy future. You are allowed to feel good, proud, and satisfied in the now, even as you move toward bigger dreams.
Ask yourself: What’s stopping me from letting myself feel happy right now?
Chances are—the only thing in the way is you.